Ha! Me? Have time to blog? Absolutely not. But I also feel that I owe it to myself, my husband, my two boys (7 and 5), and other moms (or not moms) out there who feel like they're alone in feeling overwhelmed and inadequate--to record what I'm going through and how I try to make it through without going (too) crazy.
I'm not an parenting expert, or a chef, or a doctor or anything special but I am a woman with adult-diagnosed ADHD who has a marriage and children (both high-functioning autistic) and a job to look after and I struggle to do all of those things AND keep my sanity.
I need to laugh more than I cry. I want smile lines instead of worry lines. I want a calm head more than a clean house. I plan to document the good days so that I can read about them on the bad ones and I plan to write about the bad ones to purge them from myself as well as learn from them. I love to cook, craft, learn to fix things in my 113-year-old house, take pictures, go thrifting, collect Fiestaware, read, and drink coffee. I have fantastic friends and an amazing family. I have a crazy rescue mutt who is probably the best thing to happen to our house since the DVR. I talk too much and too fast. I'm always late (but actively trying not to be--with some success!). I'm a lefty and I make the best apple pie you ever had. I have panic attacks almost daily. I believe in God but not in ideologies that encourage hate, exclusion, elitism, or make anyone feel like they have to believe the exact same thing as me or else they're wrong. I'm afraid of birds and I love to go through car washes. I love snow and I'd love to enjoy running someday, but today is definitely not that day. I'm 34 and live in Cleveland, Ohio. I've been married for 9 years. I own and use a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine. I'm a total sociology nerd and get super excited about old sewing machines. I joke that I have a Ph. but no D in sociology. I have my master's and one year of doctoral coursework, plus a ramshackle skeleton of writings and notes that will someday transform into my dissertation. I chose my children, my marriage, and myself over the Ph.D. right now. I teach sociology at three (yes, three!) Cleveland-area institutions and I absolutely love it. What I don't love is the life of an adjunct instructor. Low pay. Gaps in pay. Unpredictable schedule. No job security. But I need the flexibility in order to be the best mom that I can be. *Sigh* I'm applying for something more permanent and more profitable, however.
I have no idea if this blog will actually work for me or not. I might keep up with it regularly and I might not. Who knows. But here it goes... :)
P.S. I totally wrote this while hiding out in my bathroom, pretending that I was using the facilities.
ReplyDeleteBathroom = office. A.) How did I not know you were a lefty???? B.) I also wish I could like running more. Maybe we can learn to love it together? Like an arranged marriage with healthiness?
ReplyDeleteAlready bookmarked it.
ReplyDeleteI had forgotten that you had ADHD. I'm having a lot of trouble with it (ADHD) right now. I'm already on an antidepressant that works partially with norepinephrine, and most ADHD drugs are stimulants so I can't do both. I have a call in to my dr.
Hey, do you mind if I ask you what, if any, med you're on for adult ADHD? I have suspected it in myself for years, and feel like psych professionals are just blowing me off, or something. Finally I found out from one of my psychological professionals today that there actually IS an assessment tool for this. I never even knew that. Anyway, I'm going to request that they give it to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm on Vyvanse. And Zoloft for anxiety.
ReplyDelete